The concluding part of Godly Villain

It was a long night for Sapna. A night –she swung like a pendulum between the extremes of emotion —self-pity, anger, exasperation and depression. Calculating between the options of supreme sacrifice and self gratification, she sat awake throughout the night, trying to analyze the purpose of her creation

Babluda was her mother’s friend. He was decades senior but Sapna always addressed him as elder brother, the way her mother used to address him. He was the nearest thing to a father that Sapna ever had. Why did he lie to her about Ranjan?

Theirs was an unusual meeting. Ranjan had come to attend a spiritual lecture delivered by charismatic speaker Bablu Maharaj— secretary of Naba Bharat movement. For Sapna, attending his lectures was a habit. Her AIDS infected mother had put her into missionary school but left her daughters assets in the custody of Bablu-Maharaj—her childhood friend. Her father had remarried and other relatives conveniently forgot about her. Sapna grew up in a convent school reared by a group of nuns.

Finance was not a major problem for her, loneliness was. Joining the mission she grew up in -- was a natural option. But the very   thought that mission of her life would be to serve society-- the set of selfish people who had no other objective but eat, sleep and merry— repelled her. Subconsciously Sapna had always equated the society to her opportunist relatives, who had no time for her. Though brought up on a diet of sins and sufferings-- Christian concept of forgiveness was never her own. She had seen through the hollowness of unconditional forgiveness. Only Babluda-- not her flesh and blood-- was the honorable exception.— Babluda was her friend philosopher and guide--- till Ranjan entered her life.

Ranjan had proposed but Sapna was scared. Scared to disturb the rhythm of her topsy- turvy affair that brought her so much excitement and pain. She was scared of the possibility that she might   lose him permanently towards the ill- fate that had kept her company since birth -anxious about the thought that their unique friendship would turn into a stale routine existence of a man and wife due to suffocating social boundaries. As child, Sapna was denied the protection of a home. As adult she had developed a strong repulsion towards organized family life. Apart from the job hours, when she had to occupy the steno-typist’s chair within the chamber her temperamental a Big boss—she lived a free life; According to her own schedule—designed according to her likes and dislikes. So they day Ranjan had asked her to be a life partner, just one year after their first meeting, she was totally confused.

Last five years was traumatic. At predetermined intervals, Ranjan kept on raising the issue, which Sapna routinely refused. She could not take Ranjan—as a formal partner neither was she   ready to let him go. So after saying No-she had gone into a– shell of depression. Fretting in her lonely shell- she kept cursing herself for missing it all---- the exciting debates over the cup of evening tea, the evening show at Elite theater, Ranjan’s bizarre dishes, his artistic commentary on flower genetics and bonsai, the expo at the maidan, she enjoyed them all but with Ranjan only. But Ranjan was quick to find his respite So after one or two dull afternoon, he would enter the social circle, flirt outrageously with whoever was willing to take a chance with him, go for long drives with the pretty little things and do every single that was denied with Sapna—the love of his life.

The first time it happened, the pain was unbearable. Sapna had decided to forsake the social life. Through Bablu Maharaj she had entered an ashram as an aspirant Brahmacharni.  But she failed there too. During the test period when she was evaluating her capacity for selfless godly service- she could not keep her thoughts away from Ranjan. She had mastered many things there--- right from the    art of pickle making to that of for charity work. But she could not master the art of forgetting Ranjan even after immersing herself in work and endless hours of japa. A part of her had always yearned to see him—see him even in the company of his starry –eyed female admirers.

Finally the realization had struck her. She was in love and started considering the option of marriage. Fate intervened!! The ill –shadow of bad luck that was pursuing her since childhood wont grant her any worldly happiness. The astrological chart had shown an evil combination --a strong possibility of   widowhood. Sapna was destined to die a virgin. No ordinary astrologer --- Babluda had read her birth chart. And now he himself is asking her to marry him!

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As the darkness faded –and the first rays of sun touched horizon there was a knock. Sapna was drained of energy but she dragged her body to the door. Ranjan was waiting with his self-righteous winning smile.

“Like to go for a walk? Came the innocent suggestion as if nothing had happened between them.

“No way.” Instinctively Sapna blocked the door as if to prevent Ranjan from entering.

“ Hey. That’s no way to treat a gentleman like me. I have serious business to discuss with you.”

“What?”

“This. Your future. “

“Curiosity got the better of Sapna. She shifted to allow Ranjan inside.

 With his characteristic   naughty smile Ranjan stepped inside and unrolled a bundle of paper. When he spread it on the table - a legal document got exposed. It also revealed a story. The story of a great sanyasi who had come to earth some fifty years back-- born to an    infamous woman –who was once the mistress of a immensely rich political leader. She had left her fabulous wealth to her only son Bablu Maharaj –who in turn had transferred the whole amount to his trusted aide –Sapna and Ranjan--for a noble purpose—rehabilitation of poor children born to women of flesh trade.—Suniti children’s home.

It had taken some time for Sapna to get the full impact of the message. When she did, the faint pink of morning sun started touching her lifeless   face. She got up and went into the kitchen.

“I think finally God had to accept defeat. See he himself has made us partners” Ranjan shouted aloud.

But Sapna did not answer.

 With undivided attention, she was making a decoction of the special Darjeeling tea that Ranjan loved so much.